sometimes we face things in life, that you find yourself so weak in bearing all that though it may seem to be very small for others...nearly a month ago i broke up with my boy friend whom I really loved..it was very painful,couldn't really believe that!!! I can really say this, I didn't sleep nor eat in this month!!! I've lost nearly 7 kilogramms, and a little of my confidence...

I found myself very weak in a hard situation... so many whys were flying in my head, and there was no answer..I was mad at God for treating me ,who loves him sooooo much ,this much bad!!

I was near to lose all my faith and hope for living...couldn't understand why a person must be this important for me,when I even know he has no feelings and emotions for me... I felt broken inside, like nothing is left for me...I used to be very proud,not paying attention to any boy...don't really know what happened that I accepted him as my boyfriend,and what happened that I fell in love with him... my friends really couldn't believe it!!!

I wanted to prove myself somethings,that I failed..now I'm afraid to take any step,in any way!!!

it's very bad to find your self this weak!!! I can claim easily that I'm a very successful girl, studying my favorite major,working,playing violin,being a tour guide!!! everything is ok except this weird feelings inside,that is hurting me so much!!!

I dont love him anymore like I used to..but still sometimes I miss him so badly!!! am not sure if it's normal or not,but am sure of one thing,am gonna be better..life won't wait for me,I must run after it...I just don't get people sometimes,their selfishness,and loveless hearts!!!

they are not bad people but they do others bad without knowing!!!

now, the only thing I really need is a quiet place,in the middle of nature..with myslef and God!!! I'm really tired of people,their strange acts that I really don't get,their differences which they think they are sure about them while they are not,or they think they are better again while they are not!!! when will they stop this stupidity, I really don't know!!!

I'm always smiling at life,its beauty,and unpredictable things in it..but sometimes this smiling is very hard...its beauty fades away many times,and only remains in your heart and mind, people whom are always hopeless,tired and depress have lost that image in their heart and mind...I don't wanna be one of them...so I'll try my best to recover this damaged feelings..I'll try to be me again...mehrnaz will be back soon :P